There I am, minding my own business (in the cutest possible way, of course), when I overhear someone criticizing one of my paintings. Oh yes, she did! It was clear that she did not realize the work was mine, nor that I was listening, and she was being quite unkind, to say the least. Ouch! To my satisfaction, as soon as she knew that I knew that she'd said what she'd said, she scampered away, sufficiently embarrassed. But still, ouch.
My first thought was to let it ruin my day. Yes, this was the thought “now I have to be upset about this for the rest of the day and let her abrasive words chip away at my confidence”. As if there was no choice in the matter. Certainly there was a time when that was the case. In art school, we had weekly critiques in each class and some of the more seasoned professors were especially ruthless. Actually, they were downright nasty. A great critique could leave me giddy but I also heard my share of “constructive criticism” that left me doubting my ability and whining to my roommates.
Now here’s the cool part. What came to mind next was more along the lines of “I am a grown woman and professional artist (dammit!) with nearly two decades of accomplishments on my resume. All of my clients love my work and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna be taken down by some 19 year old punk who doesn’t know jack about art!” Ok, so the fact is, I can’t actually verify her status as a punk, don’t know her real age, and I’m not privy to what, if any, art training she has had. But in my mind, for that moment, she was a know-nothing kid.
Moreover, even if she had been a world-renown art critic, there’s still no reason I should adopt her opinion as my own. We all know that art is subjective and when you put it out there, some will love it, some will hate it and some won’t even notice it. Pretty much the same as if I had gotten a new hairstyle. (But I really do hope that everyone loves my hair because if not then I really might have to cry.)
If I’m honest with myself, I must recognize that there is a shred of truth in what she said. It was a painting I had done several years ago, and not necessarily my best work. It did have a few key mistakes. The colors, however, are fabulous and the overall look is professional. I'm still proud to have my name on it. Remembering how much the client LOVED that piece and how much my work has improved since then further bolstered my confidence.
Then, and only then, did I truly understood how to use criticism to my advantage. Even when the "benefactor" of this "advice" forgets to temper it with kindness, I can still put my feelings aside and find the lesson. Next time, I will look for ways to use those hurtful words to make myself stronger, rather than allowing them to tear me down. That, and the security of knowing how much you all love my hair, will see me through the tough times.
